Wolfpack Off Topic » ying in a child who is anywhe

Q: My mom is in the early stages of dementia and she is also incontinent we have tried to get her to stop wearing her underpants and have her start wearing pull-up diapers Joe Thomas Hat , she throws the Depends out the door and puts her underpants on. Of coarse we have a lot of laundry! How should I handle this?

A: This one should be fairly easy to solve. You have a few options actually! And hopefully you won't have to try them all!

First, you should take all of the regular underwear away, and replace them with the Depends. That way there is no other option. Hopefully in a few days she will adjust to the change and not even notice the difference.

If that doesn't work you may have to resort to under-handed, underwear tactics.

Sometimes with dementia you have to be a little bit dishonest. Somehow to me it never felt right telling little old ladies, little white lies. But Jim Brown Hat , perhaps you could look at it like you are just stretching things a bit, or since we are Irish, it is just blarney!

One of the only ways to effectively deal with those who have dementia or alzheimer's is to enter into their reality. In your moms' mind, she doesn't have a problem and doesn't need them. In our reality we are smelling the urine, finding wet clothes Emmanuel Ogbah Hat , the furniture might be getting soiled etc. So here are a few one liners that might help you.

1. Mom we sent the underwear to the dry cleaners, they won't be back until next Monday.


2. Sorry, mom, they had to keep them another week.


3. I'm going to have to call and complain, because it has taken them so long.


4. The ladies' department at JC Penney Larry Ogunjobi Hat , told me that they don't make that kind of underwear anymore mom. They only sell this kind.


5. Mom, you are hip! It's what all the chics your age are wearing!


6. Mom the washing machine is broken, can you just wear these until we get it fixed.


7. Mom, the dryer ate your underwear.


8. What underwear?

Get a little creative!

Renee "Dutchy" Reeves is an Elder Care Consultant with over 10 years of working with the elderly and their families. Her online advice column, "Ask Dutchy" provides practical ideas and advice for assisting the elderly with Alzheimer's disease David Njoku Hat , Dementia, Parkinson's, disability, and those needing long term care. See other articles by her at
As parents, we all aim to raise our children as best we can. We teach them our values and morals ? don't lie Jabrill Peppers Hat , don't steal, don't cheat ? and teach them to be loving and kind, and respectful of their elders. We teach them generosity, we teach them compassion and we take great pride in them when they exhibit the values that we've taught them.


When children do something that goes against what we've taught them, we're confused and disappointed. Let's take a look at lying. The first time our child lies to us Myles Garrett Hat , it is a shock to our system. Where did they learn to lie? Is this a sign of a chronic or deeper problem? Probably not? but it certainly knocks the wind out of our vision of our perfect child.


Let's face it, lying in children is normal. Lying in a child who is anywhere between 3 and 5 years old is usually part of the embellishment they add to stories: ?I saw Santa come through the window last night? or ?You made a pinky promise that I could stay up late!? Be it reality or fiction, our reaction to these stories help our children learn the difference between lying and telling the truth.


Older children will often lie to cover their tracks or get out of doing chores or remove themselves from a situation they would prefer not to be involved in. ?I didn't throw my clothes under the bed? or ?I can't mow the lawn, I'm not feeling good.? Again, the lies provide teaching opportunities as we gently remind our children that their behavior is not acceptable and discussing their discomfort around the situation that prompted the lie.


Sometimes though Nick Chubb Hat , lying can be an indication of a deeper issue or behavioral problem. A child who habitually lies may be crying out for help. Questions to ask yourself when lying moves beyond normal white lies to a regular occurrence: Is my child lying for attention? Or feeling trapped in situations that are uncomfortable (such as difficulty with school work)? Or is my child just lying with no regard to the outcome it will have on others?


Meet the Deer Family:


Sammy is a 7 years old. He lives with his mom, dad, and a 4 month old sister. Recently, Sammy has been caught in situations at school where he was clearly not telling the truth. His teachers have been working with him to understand how lying affects him and the other children in his class. They have also noted a decrease in the quality of his homework and his rate of completion.


Mom and Dad have had several meetings with the school and shared that Sammy has also been increasingly distant at home. He needs much more support to become engaged with the family. They have spoken to Sammy on several occasions and each time, he reassures them that he will do better next time ? but the behavior does not change.


Mom and Dad Denzel Ward Hat , as well as the teachers at school, have tried to help Sammy understand the impact of his lying. Despite these interventions, Sammy continues his lying.


As the school year progresses Sammy's school work deteriorates, as does his involvement and interaction with his family at home. Sammy fell into the habit of throwing homework assignments in the trash bin before arriving home. Once the behavior was discovered, Sammy's parents and school teamed together to resolve the issue. They began by having Sammy's strengths and learning needs assessed. The testing uncovered several are